My main reason creating sabyastory 5 years back is because I love to write. I blog-write a lot in those days. Life was much easier back then. Then i started to realize that my personal blog is not that personal anymore. Starting from there, i start to reserved all my rambling inside because I know many will read. It is hard when life gets tougher and I cant express them like I used to. I felt pathetic to myself because I cannot spill down all my problems on my own blog. And the worse part is I dont really share problem.
But here comes to the reality part that we have to bare, "Picture tells a thousand words but the eyes tell the whole story". Everyday I listen to my friends problem from every corner of the world. But rarely I share mine. When life is treating me bad i motivate myself that if life is hard, try to be in the shoes of others that are harder. Many people say that they envy how beautiful my life are. Always I smile and deep down i monologue to myself you have no idea how rotten my life's are people.... A motivator once came to me and said that I have a very sad eyes. And he said, You keep a lot to yourself. You will get sick if you practice this. Talk to somebody. I nodded and smile again :)
Sometimes somewhere in the middle of the night i always feel like ringing somebody and just talk. If i dont have a shoulder to cry at least i have an ear to lend. Epic failed. Because i believe in a proverb that, 20% dont care and 80% glad you have it. I ended up sitting at one corner and.... I have a lot of sadness in the world but I just dont share... Since I delete the term "TRUST" in my life diction, i prefer to faced it all alone.... You dont have to be sympathy. Because I want it to be this way by choice. The best way to avoid disappointment is not to expect anything from anyone. And today I expect nothing. I trust no one. And I care-free. Thanks to my past experience. The damage is done.
Nota Kaki: Thinking of moving away & make money.. Just WRITE
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